My Name is Matthew and I am Prejudiced

I was born 52 years ago to a Hawaiian/Chinese man and a multi-racial mom (she called it Heinz 57). My skin color, although not black is dark enough to make me stand out in a normal community setting in Hot Springs, South Dakota. I spent the first 18 years of my life in Hawaii, a melting pot where colors of skin tend to blend quite nicely. That is not to say there is no prejudice in Hawaii because there is. It's just that, except on rare occasions I was rarely on the receiving end of it. Admittedly I did consciously harbor prejudice toward Japanese people but only particular kinds; primarily the girls. They were the ones who usually turned their noses up at me. I guess I don't know if it was prejudice or self (a.k.a. ego) preservation.

Attending Bible school in California in the 70's brought the first real taste of prejudice when I learned it was unbiblical for people to inter-marry; meaning it was not right for me to date white girls. This of course was expressed only by a minority (and in brotherly love?!) but it was expressed nonetheless. I later learned that every girl I showed interest in was "brought in" to be cautioned about the potential dangers of getting involved with someone of a different culture.

Moving to Texas was interesting. This was a mixed bag of views and bias regarding other ethnic groups. Often after being given the cold shoulder by someone I first met, a complete turn around could be observed when they discovered I was "Hawaiian." I was often introduced as, "This Matt... he's Hawaiian." When Kellie (a white girl) and I decided to marry, a co-worker remarked, "What, can't you find someone of your own kind?" I said, "Yeah I probably could but one of my goals in life is to corrupt the pure gene pool of the white people."

I now live in South Dakota where for the most part, while I don't necessarily look like most others (primarily from German descent) I still just blend in.

In truth however, except for a few occasions of discrimination (which I am convinced every person faces at some level) I have not really had to deal with real prejudicial issues. SO... the question is... am I prejudiced? Of course I am. Everyone to some degree is prejudice.

Here's the real question I'm asking myself: Is the disappointment I'm feeling about the Obama victory the result of my prejudice?

To be perfectly honest I believe that to some degree my disappointment is the result of prejudice; and when honest about the matter, no matter what side of the fence one may stand prejudice does factor in.

However, I must ask myself whether my prejudice is based on skin color, ethnic background, or something else. I believe that it is "something else."

I find myself disappointed not so much because he is black but rather because he is stereo-typically black.

Let me explain what I mean. Barak Obama conveys a perspective, an attitude and an approach toward living in America that has come to reflect that of a stereotypical American black man (I use the term stereo-typical because I don't believe it is the norm for the majority of black people in America, but it IS of the most verbal). His perspective is that the world owes them something, his attitude is anger stemming from frustration, and his approach toward life is to do whatever it takes to make the white man pay. The attitude of his pastor paints an ample picture. With Obama, the (accurate or inaccurate) perception is that the motivation for political office is to have enough power to do something about it and it is this that truly bothers me.

In this way then I guess that I must admit... My name is Matthew Lim... and I am prejudiced!